What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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