I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
