Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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