One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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