You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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