I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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