I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
