Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize