please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
