Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
