We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
