a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
