I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I want a musical about memes.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
