if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
