You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
