so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
