Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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