If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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