You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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