her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
vagina is talking i cant
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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