we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
