So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
