She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
