talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
