I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
