Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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