dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize