Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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