I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
