would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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