The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm like, not good at living.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize