WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
