I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
