I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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