Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
