Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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