but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
