erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
