My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
