dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hippo gnu deer
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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