Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
