ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.