my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way