And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
