JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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