I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
