i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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