There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
