I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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