I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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