"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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