Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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