I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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