Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
