I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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