Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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