I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
