You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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