Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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