did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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