As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
