All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
